Monday’s Mommy Minute ~ Finding “Me” Time
- 03.21.11
- monday's mommy minute
- 2 Comments
Life as a stay at home or work at home mom is a steady mix of the busy and crazy, and the tedious and boring. A newborn baby pretty much needs little attending to, aside from the constant changing and feeding, not to mention the exhausted state your in from sleepless nights even when they are napping. It doesn’t get easier as they move on to babyhood and then toddler/preschool stage as each new milestone brings new and different challenges. Sure you’re sleeping through the night again, but now you’re chasing a 2 year old around all day, and then–Bam, you’re pregnant and here we go again times two!
But chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re a mom and know all of this first hand!!
What most mom’s can’t seem to figure out is how to get those two precious little words “Me Time”. How are you supposed to squeeze “you” into your schedule now that you have a child who seems to demand all your time and attention, not to mention bills that need paid, a house that needs cleaned, and let’s not forget Mt. Washmore! If you’re a work at home mom you have the added demands of running your business. It can quickly become overwhelming and the “you” you were before Mommyhood can become lost.
Although I’m by no means an expert on this topic, I do seem to have much more “me” time than many mom’s I know, so I thought I’d share my secrets and tips to getting it, plus a few I’ve picked up along the way from other moms, magazines, online, and who knows where else!
You might have heard this before but it is so true: when your child naps is the best time to have you time! I know you’ll be tempted to use the time to frantically catch up on cleaning the house, paying the bills, etc. but don’t!!!! Make those hours about you. If you have a newborn use them to sleep or rest and recharge your batteries. My 3 year old is still taking 2 hour naps and my 8 month old is finally getting on the same nap schedule as her so I use this quiet time to my full advantage! I use naptime to do my devotions, blog, digital scrap, catch up on email and facebook, workout, etc. The only thing I would suggest you do during your child’s nap that could be considered “work” is use them to make uninterrupted phone calls 
If you do run a large business you might need to use this time for work because you can get the most done (lately I have had to squeeze my work in during this time most days), but be sure to at least take 15 minutes purely devoted to something you enjoy! Even that amount of time can help “recharge your batteries”.
If you do run a large business you might need to use this time for work because you can get the most done (lately I have had to squeeze my work in during this time most days), but be sure to at least take 15 minutes purely devoted to something you enjoy! Even that amount of time can help “recharge your batteries”.So, you might be asking, if I devote all my kiddos nap time to me when do I clean/work/all that stuff that must be done?
My answer, do it when they’re awake of course! My daughter loves to help the dishwasher (she just turned 3 and can already put the silverware away correctly), loves to help me dust, loves to take the clothes out of the dryer and put them in the basket for me and is even starting to help me sort it. Not only is she “helping” it encourages her and builds her self esteem because she feels like she’s a valuable member of the family, plus I’m hoping it will build good habits so she’ll be less likely to complain about these same things when she’s older! If your baby is too little to help, place them in their bouncy seat or on the floor in the room you’re in and sing and talk to them as you work. Multi-tasking is a beautiful thing!
My next suggestion is have your children have an early bedtime. Everything I’ve ever read suggests you put your kiddos to bed between 7:30-8 p.m. Both of my kiddos are in bed for good by 7:30 pm. Their early bedtime means me and my hubby have several hours of “us” time each evening which is wonderful as we don’t live near anyone who can babysit, and this is the only time we ever are “alone”. Since I’ve gotten my housework done during the day with Amber I use the evenings for more “me” time and “us” time as well.
Once your kiddos are a little bit older have them entertain themselves for a little while by themselves in the morning. When I was pregnant with my little guy the pregnancy just completely wiped me out. I was continually exhausted and as someone who loves sleep to begin with it made it really hard! I got into the habit of putting board books in my daughters crib at the bottom, and she sleeps with a stuffed animal, so normally when she woke up (either too early in my opinion or not too early but I’m still comatose) she entertains herself for about an hour, reading and singing and playing with her stuffed bear (she’s still in a crib for now so this is why this works even though she’s so young). I honestly felt a little guilty about this at first, like I was a bad parent for doing it or something, but really did need my sleep. Then I recently read an article in a huge parenting magazine that suggested doing exactly what I’d been doing. It said it’s actually good for kids to learn to entertain themselves and helps them to be independent. It suggested doing it for older children too, giving them a clock and telling them they’re not allowed to be noisy or come get mommy up till a certain time, etc. Now that I have two kids I normally get up with my little guy and put him in his bouncer/exersaucer while I’m getting dressed/doing makeup and then go and get my daughter up. We’ll be switching to a “big girl” bed soon but I’m still going to try to enforce this rule! When Momma’s rested everyone’s day goes more smoothly!
Squeeze You Time in whenever possible! Since I started my administrative assistant job and blogging on a bigger scale I’ve had to get more creative about fitting me time in. I’ve discovered that smartphones are beautiful things. Now while I’m waiting in the car or in an office I can catch up on the Facebook news I’m normally too busy to fit in anymore. Bath time at night doubles as Me time with bubble and a good book added into the equation. No matter how busy you are you can always figure out ways to pamper yourself a little!
Hope these tips help and here’s to finding “you time” all over again!
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~ Nicole Elliott is the Administrative Assistant for Mommy Bag Marketing Inc. She is a military spouse and in her “Me Time” runs her blog Ramblings By Nicole
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Hi Nicole,
Somehow I found Mommy Bags on Twitter and I wanted to see what the site was about, so the first thing I ran across was your article here and realized we had something in common.
I home-schooled my 3 children for several years from a log cabin in Alaska and I work with pregnant women, young mothers with small children and a bunch of other people too. I have given presentations about the influence of a mother’s voice on her child’s language and singing development skills to the home-school communities here in California, where I live.
Your idea about taking time for yourself is something I wish I had known more about when I was raising my children (they are successfully grown and living beautiful adult lives now) but I didn’t hear much about that during my log cabin days. I tried to exercise at home but with 3 little ones, heating and cooking with wood and helping with the family business at that time, plus teaching private music students, I just couldn’t figure out where to make the time!
I wish I had had your article to refer to back then.
After my kids grew up and I had a lot more “free” time on my hands, I began to sift through my life’s experiences to see what more I could contribute to the world than I already had.
I wanted to give something to other moms since I did not have this type of thing available for myself when I was raising my own children.
So, since I’m a professional performer, vocal coach and composer, among other things, one of the things I did a few years ago was create calming music/meditation music featuring my original music. I designed it specifically for moms for the very same reasons you are talking about: mom taking care of mom, the busiest person in the world!
My story is a long one, but I do not want to take up time with it here.
Most importantly I want to say that I appreciated what you had to say about taking those moments for yourself and giving practical suggestions about how to do that.
Anyhow, if you are interested in more of what I am doing for moms and babies on my website you can go there, but I didn’t want to write to promote myself here. I just wanted to say thank you for being a voice for moms who need to take care of themselves so that they can give the best to their children!
I hope many other moms will take you up on your advice for it is wise advice!
Joy Sikorski
[...] last week’s Monday’s Mommy Minute I talked all about how important squeezing “Me time” into your schedule is. Today I want [...]